Life has a way of making you lose your identity. In a 24 hour period you work, commute, and try to squeeze in as much time as possible with family, friends, catching up on errands, and things that needs to be done. You get to bed and then it is time to do it all over again the next morning. Where is the time for you? Where is the time to even think about even creating a better future for yourself?
You don’t have to settle for what life is offering you. You can have a life where your identity has not been lost.
How can you live a life with the identity that you envisioned for yourself?
How can you even find the identity that seems to have been hidden underneath all of the things that life has brought you?
I know that this may sound too simple or even like it is not going to work, but all that you have to do is create time to think. At first you may only be able to create 15-20 minutes a day to think about you and where you want to go in your life. This may seem like to little of time but that is 105-140 minutes a week to think about things that you have not been able to think about before. That can be a huge change for you for the better!
Let me tell you a little story about my own journey in this…….
A few years ago, I was devastated I had no time with my children, no time with my husband, I was working a job that I absolutely hated just to get a pay check that went straight to paying bills. I was stressed, I hadn’t done anything for myself in a very long time that I couldn’t even remember what that felt like. On top of that, I had no idea of where I was going, how to even get there, and how long was it going to take me to get out of the horror story that I found myself in. I was missing my children’s events. I was getting home late so I only had a few minutes to spend with them and I felt like I was loosing them. They were growing up and I was missing it.
I completely hated who I became. My life sucked at every angle. I was so unhappy and I felt trapped! I never had enough time or enough money for anything that was important to me and I wasn’t the only one who was suffering. My children was suffering and my marriage was suffering.
I got layed off and for some that would be even more devastating but for me it was a sign of hope. The reason why it was a sign of hope for me was because in that bad situation, I decided to see the good that I could pull out of it. I found good in being able to finally think. I didn’t want to think about all the problems that I had and that were still piling up. I wanted to think about the solutions and that is exactly what I did.
I started asking myself who was I, what I really wanted for myself and my family, and how I could get there. I thought long and hard about how I wanted my future to look. Let me be vulnerable and tell you that this was really a hard process for me, but it was a process that I was ready to go through. For all of the questions that I had, I gained answers. I gained direction. AND the most important thing was that I gained HOPE!!!!
I really truly want the best for you and that is why I am going to give you some real insight into the main things that I learned that I needed to do in order to regain my identity.
- I made a promise to myself that I would NEVER again go through my life without creating time for myself to think. You will be no good to your family OR yourself if you do not get clarity, direction, and the main thing SANITY!
- You have to be willing to declutter your life. Your life can easily get cluttered with things that really don’t need to be there or can at least take the back burner for more important things in your life. Don’t let those things hold your life hostage! Let them go and you will feel so much more free and relieved.
- You have to have a plan and be willing to take the necessary steps and risks to execute it. Many of us want so many things in life. I don’t think there is anyone who would say that they want to live a bad life. The problem is that we fail to implement the right things in place in order for us to have the life that we want to live. You can’t implement what you haven’t planned for. Take the time to plan and then make the choice to implement.
- Never view what seems like failure as the end. A lot of times when it seems like you are or have failed at something, it is just an opportunity for repositioning. My husband was nervous when I lost my job and then he got even more nervous when I told him that I was not actively looking for another job. He probably thought that I had lost my mind at the time but later on he understood that I was repositioning myself for a greater comeback.
All of these things were necessary for me to go to the next level. I was tired of being stuck. I wanted to live the life that I had always dreamt of living but the first thing that I had to do is regain my identity. Once I recognized who I was, I knew where I was going and I loved it.
I may have had more than 15-20 minutes a day to think about things but don’t let that discourage you. This process is a LIFE LONG process. You have always got to create time in your life to get clarity, direction, and sanity. Sometimes finding the time can be challenging but it is NECESSARY! Once you have done this for a while, you can always increase your daily thinking time.
Your life is worth a lot more than feeling and being trapped. That doesn’t have to be your existence. In order for it not to be your existence, the number one thing that you have to do today is take the necessary steps to change your life. Don’t let life dictate what you have. You dictate what kind of life you have.
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